Feelings

hey crush,
it's been a week or more i guess?
that we aren't talking to each other..
don't u want to ask me?
don't u want to ask about my condition?
how am i doing?
am i doing good?
u never asked me..

i don't know what to say,but i really wish that u are here with me. ....but u don't

sometimes i'm wondering,don't u miss me?
because i really miss u,
nope,
i'm missing u
and
it's killing me..

i never tell anybody..

by the way,
do u remember the last thursday of  school?
u talked to me,
i was so happy,
super excited
but i just expressed my feelings with smiling..
but
u never know that..

u laughed at my jokes
u smiled at me
u bullied me because i was sweeping the floor and u asked me to sweep everywhere
at that time,i feel like..urgh,what is wrong with him?!?
u annoyed me so much,
but still,i'm very happy
at that time also,
u are the only guy and there's just 4 girls at there including me
when u talked to me,
it feels like
just only two of us in the class

and now
i'm thinking
your birthday is coming
i bought the present already,
but i'm scared to give u

i keep thinking,
will u accept my gift?
it's not that expensive
but i'm trying to buy something the best for u
i know that u want to focus on your studies
fine
i won't disturb u
but it hurts me
sometimes i'm wondering
does he still like me?
if he doesn't
why he talked to me?

i just don't get it,why boys nowadays keep making girls wondering?
u know what,
wondering can be hurt if the feelings get hopeless
because we ( girls ) are hoping for something
to be honest,
if u don't like me,
don't talk to me
don't u ever look at me or even stare at me
because of what?

it HURTS
it hurts me so much
and
no one knows

please,don't ask me to be your friend
i can't
because
i never turned my crush into my friend
it will be more hurt

but still
i want u to know that i'm waiting for u
always
that's okay
u can tell me if u don't want me to stay
it might be hurt
but at least
i know that u don't have any feelings for me anymore

i promise
that i'll never look at u
even stare at u
i'll try not to talk to u
i'll try to ignore u
i will
and i'm sorry if sometimes,
i annoyed u so much..

thank u crush
for everything u did
.
.
.
.
.
i like u
and please don't like any other girls
i just can't..
i'm sorry..